The Stigma of EUPD Vs Depression
So many people are dying because of mental illness. The quote I've attached, 'you cannot save people you can only love them' is mostly true but I do think that kindness and love can go a long way to saving someone. I have experienced too many cruel and judgemental people, MH professionals a lot of the time, who just add to peoples pain. By the way I know the majority of MH professionals are really great people. I overheard a nurse say that she used to only work with people with EUPD - who pretended to be suicidal, and then she encountered other people with real illnesses. This is a damn painful fake illness then! I can only talk for myself but the way I would describe EUPD is like a magnifying glass/microscope for situations and emotions. So if a person in general was scared of bugs and saw an ant they might not react too much to it, someone with EUPD would see that ant huge as if through a magnifying glass and detailed as if through a microscope, are they really expected to have the same reaction? People with EUPD do not overreact, they react to how they are experiencing things. People don't choose to be mentally ill. People who are mentally ill are not attention seeking or manipulative or any horrible judgmental word. They are suffering and a bit of kindness can really help. A bit of unkindness can make things so much worse. I don't know what I was really trying to say with this other than be kind to people, don't judge, maybe you can't save everyone but your kindness can go a long way to helping people hold on.
When I was about 15 I was diagnosed with depression. I struggled a lot and ended up in A&E frequently after doing risky things. Every professional I came into contact was very supportive and kind and recognised that I was having a hard time and they wanted to help. In 2009 my diagnosis was changed to EUPD and I noticed a huge flip in the way I was treated. For the exact same behaviours that were once seen as being due to depression and treated with compassion I was then described as manipulative, attention seeking, playing the system, and generally seen as a nuisance. People who didn't know me looked at my diagnosis and decided they didn't like me at all, I have been bullied by many nurses in psychiatric wards and by the psych liaison team in A&E. These people didn't even try to get to know the real me, they just assumed I would act as a stereotypical person with EUPD. I often think that some professionals think that being attention seeking and manipulative are actual criteria included in the diagnosis of EUPD. I am not at all like that, I have what is informally called Quiet EUPD where I don't get angry at other people and express things outwardly instead I keep it all inside and take it out on myself. I will say that every person with EUPD that I have met have been very angry and fighting with staff etc but these were people who were very unwell in a psychiatric ward so it is understandable.
I'll finish off with a rubbish poem I wrote many years ago:
I am depressed - we are here at any time.
I have BPD - stop wasting our time
I am depressed - we can see you are distressed
I have BPD - you are not distressed at all
I am depressed - we know self harming is how you cope
I have BPD - your self harming is attention seeking
I am depressed - we will try to help you with your suicidal feelings
I have BPD - you are always suicidal, you'll be fine
I am depressed - we can hear your emotional pain
I have BPD - you are badly behaved
I am depressed - we can see things can push you over the edge
I have BPD - you are manipulative
I am depressed - we know you are trying your hardest
I have BPD - you are not trying hard enough
Please don't judge me by my diagnosis
I have not changed
I am still me
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